


One Night at Mama's

by devilgrrl



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilgrrl/pseuds/devilgrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion to Four Hours, Six Ties.  What the kids get up to when May kicks them off the bus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Go Have Some Fun

“Get off my plane” she said. Her voice wasn’t angry or menacing, having no real inflection of any kind. Her expression betrayed no emotion either. Her eyes, though, were flat, black and murderous. They stated for her unequivocally that to argue or disobey was to court peril, dire distress and possibly a heinous death. No one argued with Melinda May.

She threw the keys to the suburban assault vehicle to Ward without so much as glancing at him. “Be out of here by six.” He knew an order when he heard it.

Looking at Skye she said, “No drinking, no rough housing for you. You are recovering and I’m not bailing anyone out of jail.” Skye snickered, thinking to herself that the cops couldn’t catch her with her new, super, secret agent skills. She didn’t get caught before, she surely wasn’t getting busted for anything now.

Then she dead stared FitzSimmons. “I have work to do, I don’t need interruptions.” Of course, the science babies needed more explanation. It was their nature. She softened a little when addressing Fitz who was obviously biting down on a mild protest. “I don’t need your help. Go have some fun.” Her gentle tone the May equivalent of a comforting pat on the shoulder. She turned for her cockpit as she called out to the room as whole “Any foot back on this bus before 2am will be broken.”

Skye giggled, grinned and did a little happy dance. FitzSimmons looked at each other, silently communicating all the useful things that they could be doing with their time. Ward stared off into space, tightening his lips and thinking surly Ward thoughts known only to him.

Skye, of course, was the first to speak. “Guys we are getting a night off and out of here! Look happy! We can go have some fun.” She grabbed Jemma’s hand excitedly, bouncing like a puppy “We’ve never gone out together. What do you have hot to wear?”

“Skye, we’re not going clubbing. Let’s go have a nice dinner and catch a couple of movies.” Jemma looked to Fitz for back up. Seeing the disgruntled look on his face she quirked her brow and cut him off before he could start. “I am NOT going to try to sneak around Agent May and stay in the lab. I like my body parts whole and unbroken, thank you very much.”

“Ward what would you like to do?” this from Skye who had not noticed him disappearing as soon as May had gone. “Okay, so his opinion doesn’t count. Look, Jemma, I have been cooped up quietly for longer than I can stand. I want to go and decompress. I want some loud music and dancing and rubbing up against strangers and FUN!!!”

Dr. Simmons reared her ugly head “Skye you need to take it easy. Really easy. You nearly died and”

“Blah blah blah. I feel fine. I’m okay. I am not going to drink or do anything strenuous. I’m just going to have a good time. Where are we anyway?” Skye interrupted.

“Nebraska.” Fitz finally spoke, pout clear through his soft burr. “Not exactly prime territory for a pub crawl.”

“How close are we to Omaha?” Skye asked him.

“About 200 kilometers I guess.” Fitz answered.  
“In American please” Skye said exasperated.

“Two hours’ drive probably” Fitz rolled his eyes right back at her.

“Shit! We need to get going. I’ve got a friend that waits tables at some place called Mama’s just outside of Omaha. It’s country but I’ve seen pictures and heard stories, it’ll be great. We’ll go see her. I’ll get in touch with her and get directions. Jemma, dress hot, show some skin, maybe you’ll meet a cowboy. Fitz. No cardigans. Get Ward and be at the truck in half an hour.”

‘How do you just happen to have a friend that waits tables in Nebraska?” this from Jemma.

“The internet. Duh.” And with that Skye bounced out of the room.

“It’s a long drive Fitz, take your computer and we’ll get some paperwork done.”

“Yeah. Such fun.” He groused.


	2. Sometimes it's the journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride out.

Ward was waiting, leaning against the SUV in dark jeans, tight black tee and black leather moto jacket. He looked ready, releasing an uber cool James Dean vibe into the atmosphere. Fitz and Simmons came down to the bay together, carrying laptop bags and folders. As per Skye’s direction, Fitz had left off the cardigan but had not changed from deadly dull khakis and plaid shirt and dark tie. His concession to relaxation having been to roll up his sleeves. Jemma had at least freshened her make-up and pulled on some figure flattering skin tight jeans but coupled it with a cute camisole topped by, what else, a turquoise cardigan and matching Keds. FitzSimmons, always of one mind, both silently wished some of Ward’s excess cool could rub off on them. Jemma’s wishful thoughts might have been a bit more graphic and detailed in the rubbing off Ward, but they essentially wanted the same thing. Just being alone in his presence made them both a little tongue-tied.

Fortunately, Skye bounded in just a moment after them, all happy smiles and effervescent demeanor. She was like a bubble in bottle of champagne just living for the cork to pop. “Guyyyys” she drew out the word to an amused degree of scolding when addressing FitzSimmons. “I told you to dress hot.” 

Fitz immediately jumped in “I’ll have you know it is hot out there, 38 degrees hot. I hope this place you are dragging us to has great air conditioning.” Skye really didn’t understand Fitz’s grouchiness and wondered if he purposely threw out metric numbers just to make her do math in her head.

She just glared at him and yelled “SHOTGUN!” 

Ward allowed himself a satisfied little grin as he climbed in the driver’s seat. Fitz and Simmons passed each other a confused look and then simultaneously queried Skye “What?”

“You know. Shotgun. It means I get to ride up front in the passenger seat. And since you are so concerned about the heat, your first ice-cold brewski is on me.” Skye answered as she crossed in front of the vehicle and began climbing in.

This was not a game either Fitz or Simmons had grown up playing. In any case, they had never considered sitting anywhere but next to each other in the back. They had work to do. They began settling in to their own little world of science as soon as their bums hit the seats.

Ward had a bit harder time getting comfortable. Skye was wearing a tight black faux leather skirt, silver gladiator heels and a clingy, blood-red top with spaghetti straps, a little ruffle, a lot of lace and even more cleavage. He took note of it all down to the many bangle bracelets covering her arms and hoop earrings dangling against her neck exposed by her hair being pulled up and back in some sort of pouf. She looked like a party favor and he struggled to keep his expression schooled and not to drool.

“Well, Ward at least you look presentable” Skye took a breath and closed her eyes. She exhaled and shot him a mischievous grin, “You smell good too. Now tell me how great I look.”

“You look…” he quashed what he really wanted to say, which was something along the lines of: I have a knife in my boot that could cut you out of those clothes in 6.7 seconds flat, and finished with “great.” He did grant her a pained little smile with it.

Skye just shook her head, “I don’t get you guys. We never get to go out and just hang together. This is going to be a good night and I am not going to let negative attitudes bring me down. May and Coulson should have come and taken some down time too.” Ward merely flicked a glance in her direction as he backed out of the bus.

“Who’s being negative?” from Jemma.

“I’m not being negative” from Fitz.

“We’re just concentrating”

“on being productive.”

“We just like to use our time…”

“efficiently.” It didn’t matter who started the sentence as the other always managed to finish it. But with that declaration they turned to each other and were lost to Ward and Skye for the duration of the trip.

Skye gave Ward the address to the bar which was actually on the outskirts of Omaha and Fitz had been right; it would take nearly two hours to drive but since they had to be gone at least until 2am and there was nothing within an hour of them that stayed open past 9pm, they weren’t worried about it. There was nothing but a long, boring, stretch of road between here and there. Skye thought she would take advantage of caged in the vehicle time just to talk with Ward, just to see if she could draw him out. Since the Lorelei incident he had been weird around her. She wanted to know why and she wanted him to stop it.

“So what do specialists do for fun?” she asked.

“Train” he replied tersely. 

“Aww come on man. You sound like May. What does Grant Ward like to do for fun?”   
He sighed “I don’t really go out to bars unless it's part of a job. I don’t like to drink too much and lose my edge.”

“Oh. God. Hmmm. I was hoping you would drink a little just to loosen up. I can’t have anything per Dr. Simmon’s and May’s orders, so I can drive back. You’ve got an opportunity to let it all hang out.” She chuckled and waggled her eyebrows at him. He gave her a genuinely sweet smile, showing his neat white teeth. "But if that's going to make you lose your edge.... I want no part of it."

“I might have a drink or two, but I won’t be getting drunk Skye. I don’t want to disappoint you.” She wasn't disappointed in the least, she already had a concession from him and was quickly formulating a plan.

“Do you dance?”

“No.” Skye wasn’t surprised by that response. She’d like to see that well-honed body on the dance floor though.

“Shoot pool?”

“Yes.”

“Any good?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m pretty good. I don’t want to brag or anything.” Skye took that information in with a smirk.

“I always wanted to do that, I don’t really know why. There’s something about looking at the table and being in control enough to calculate all the angles. I don’t know. It appeals to me. I haven’t really ever played much though.”

“I could show you a few things” Ward offered.

“That’d be cool” she nodded. “OK do you karaoke? Do you sing?”

“Jeez no” he shook his head and laughed a bit. He was starting to relax. He could probably keep it up as long as his eyes were on the road and not on her legs in the seat next to him. Her skirt had ridden a long way up her smooth thighs and it was beyond him not to glance every now and then.

“Throw darts?”

“Of course. The academy has a class just for darts. You learn how to make them, how to poison them, how to curve if needed, how to blow them, how to shoot them, least of all was throwing them. I was great at it.” She snorted at the implied arrogance in his tone. He grinned back at her showing that it was completely on purpose. 

“Arm wrestle?”

“Really, Skye, anybody can arm wrestle. There’s nothing to that." He paused "Do you think we’re going to be doing all of that?” he scoffed.

“Sure, that and more.” 

“Yeah, I won’t be singing and dancing and wrestling” he smirked.

“We’ll see” Skye smiled to herself more so than Ward. 

They carried on for a while talking about everything and nothing. From childhood games (both loved hide and seek), beloved pets (he’d had a great dog, she’d had a turtle once), new archaeological finds (both fascinated by Viking ship burials), what super-powers they wished they had (he’d opt for invisibility, she for flight), first crushes (both unrequited) and subjects beyond; they passed the miles and time quickly while FitzSimmons conversed in some kind of coded lab-speak behind them.

Finally, they pulled off of their highway exit. They stopped to fuel up the SUV, stretch their legs and grab snack with SHIELD efficiency. Within minutes they were up and ready for the last leg to a little place called Mama’s. Skye’s smile was beaming as they pulled into the enormous graveled field that was the parking lot. She didn’t think she had ever seen so many pick-up trucks in one place in her life. There were big ones, little ones, shiny ones, muddy ones and even ones with wheels ten feet high. In the back of the field was a barn the size of an aircraft hangar, decked out with an enormous painting of cowboys rounding up cattle and neon lights spelling out “Welcome to Mama’s”. Skye turned around to the science twins “Hey guys. Guys. Fitz. Simmons. Put your computers down. We’re here.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just getting in the door.

Skye took about two and half steps before realizing that navigating the gravel parking area in her heels was going to be a problem. The air was hot and humid and she was sweating within another two steps. It was still light out, though not bright as the sun settled into the horizon. “I can’t believe you guys are wearing jackets. It’s so hot out here” She wasn’t looking at anyone in particular because her eyes were trained on the uneven ground as she tried to navigate between trucks without breaking her ankles in her ridiculous heels. Ward grabbed her elbow in a surprisingly gentlemanly manner to help her balance. 

“I can’t believe you’re going to make it across this lot in five inch heels.” This from grouchy Fitz, of course. He radiated waves of resentment at being forced to go out. He’d been planning a binge session of beer and popcorn and Doctor Who with Simmons. May’s edict ousting them from the plane had thoroughly ruined his evening. Somehow he managed to pout through lips thinned with annoyance.

“I’m having a hard time believing it myself Fitz” Skye replied.

“I can carry you.”

Skye looked at Ward with alarm. “You are NOT carrying me. I’m not broken. I can walk just fine.”

“Simmons. Help me out. Should Skye be over exerting herself?” 

Jemma grinned to herself and joined Ward in his little play. “As her doctor, I have to say most certainly not.” Then she added fuel, “I shudder to think what Agent May would do if we brought Skye back in any sort of disrepair.”

“Well then it’s settled.” Ward picked Skye up in fireman’s carry over his shoulder while she squealed with mock outrage and utter delight.

“I could make you put me down you know.”

Ward shook his head. “You couldn’t. You aren’t that well trained. Yet.” 

“This position is putting a lot of pressure on my spleen.” In a blink she was off his shoulders and into his arms bridal style. “I told you I could get you to put me down.”

“I didn’t put you down.”

“I’m not on your shoulder anymore.”

“Only because I don’t want May to kill me.” Ward said, lying through his teeth. He didn’t want to hurt Skye and he didn’t think May could kill him. 

“We’ll call it a draw.”

“Are we keeping score now?” 

“Maybe” Skye looked over his Ward’s shoulder at FitzSimmons trailing behind them. Once again, they seemed focused only on their own conversation. Skye thought she heard Simmons say something about mating strategies and sexual selection. “It’s a night out not a science project” she yelled. A look passed between Fitz and Simmons and they smirked identically.

“Ward put me down!!!!”

“OK” he treated her to an obnoxious grin and unceremoniously dumped her on her silly silver gladiator heels at the door. 

The blast of music and air conditioning was more than welcoming as they entered the building. The smell of countless nights of cigarettes, alcohol and good times gone bad all poorly masked with copious quantities of air freshener was much less so. Simmons feared Fitz would have an asthma attack and wondered if he brought his inhaler as he pulled it out of his pocket and discretely took a puff. They quickly made their way through a maze of wooden turnstiles to an older man in a red plaid shirt and a burly security guard in a black bouncer t-shirt at the inner door. Skye gave the old guy her sweetest smile and said “Are you Ed? Michelle said I should introduce myself to Ed at the door.” At these words his face transformed from dour to benign and then to downright friendly as he got a good look at her. 

Ed came around the counter, arms wide open for a hug. “You’re Skye! It’s so good to meet you. You don’t know this but you have helped me out a bunch.” He wrapped his arms around her and patted her back in a grandfatherly manner while Ward scowled silently in his direction.

“Let me guess. Some important file recovery?”

“Yes ma’am. All my GEDCOM files from years of genealogy research. You and Michelle saved my butt sure enough.” She’d been expecting a flat Midwestern twang but this man was oozing Southern drawl instead. “The old lady woulda skinned me good if I’d lost all of that.”

“It was no biggie. Just a little suggestion and direction. Glad I could help.” 

“Oh it was a big deal. Literally twenty years of documents and research” Ed shook his head ruefully.  
“Honey I’ve just been wanting to thank you for the longest time. I’m glad you could come by with all of your friends. I’ve got you a table set up front close to the stage. Of course, your fellas will have to make do upstairs until after the show but I reckon they’ll get along fine.” 

“That’s so sweet of you. I didn’t know there was a show. Is it a band or something?” Skye was genuinely curious as to why the guys couldn’t be downstairs with them.

“Nah. Male dance revue. These boys come through twice a year and the women go crazy. It’s our biggest night every time. You’re a little early because they ain’t gonna get started for a while. We don’t let anybody but the ladies on the main floor until after the show is over else the local brethren get too tempted to show out.”

“What do you mean ‘Show out’?” Simmons queried. “It’s nice to meet you, by the way. I’m Jemma. This is Fitz and this is Grant.”

Ed perked up even more at Jemma’s lilting. “Well, aren’t you just a pretty little thing? Miss Jemma don’t you know how these fellas puff out there chests and act a pure fool for pretty gals like you? Lord the ladies fall all over themselves for these hunk-a-muffin dancers and the boys from around here just can’t stand the competition.”

“Well, naturally, introducing a number of physically attractive males to a stable population of outnumbered females would provoke an increase in competitive and courtship displays.”

“Uh-huh.” Ed looked back to Skye, huge smile faltering slightly. “Why don’t you girls just go on in? Michelle is stationed up close to the stage, right near your table. She’s working security tonight.” Ed addressed Ward and Fitz with a wagging thumb and bob of his head “You boys take the stairs just past the metal detector on the right. There’s all kinds of what not to get into up there. Two bars, video games, pool tables, darts, big screen tvs…. The works. You just put on these arm bands and don’t worry about nothing. I’ve got y’all covered tonight.”

“Aww Ed that is so sweet. You didn’t have to go out of your way for us. You going to come have a drink with us later?”

“Oh yes ma’am. I’ll come visit with the two prettiest ladies in the house after the show. I’m just getting ready for the rush now.” Even as he said it twenty women with cheap white tulle flowing from matching headbands came in from the heat. “Don’t know how many bachelorettes we’re going to have. You boys’ll have a good time. I promise. Now go on. And if you can’t be good, be good at it.” With that they were dismissed as Ed went back to his register to collect his cover charge.

Skye and Jemma entered the huge darkened main floor with Fitz and Ward just behind. “So Ward, you’re not carrying tonight?” Skye wondered aloud. 

Ward stepped in closer to her and whispered in her ear “Of course I am.” He backed off and gave her a quizzical look.

“How’d you trick the metal detector?”  
“I didn’t. The knife in my boot is stone and bone. Obsidian, surgically sharp, low-tech and great for taking through low grade security like airports.”

“No gun?”

Fitz and Ward both snickered a little at her naiveté. Fitz answered for Grant “Ceramic firearm. Cased telescoped ammo. Basically plastic cased bullets that have the same muzzle velocity, range and accuracy as brass but much lighter weight. Easy to get ahold of if you work for the right agency or have the right money. Really fantastic for machine gun use if you carrying belts of ammo that normally weigh more than twenty pounds apiece. I’d like a look at the gun later when we get a chance. What is it a 9mm?” Ward gave a nod and the weaponry conversation had begun. Ward and Fitz wandered toward the stairs “Fancy a bit of darts?”

Jemma and Skye stared after them a bit dumb-founded at how quickly they had been forgotten. “Maybe they’ll have fun together” said Skye dubiously. “Ward mentioned the Academy class in darts, says he’s good at it. Did you and Fitz take it too?”

“Oh, heavens no. That’s for field agents and specialists, not really the thing for bio-chemists and engineers. It wouldn’t really do much for our career path. But Fitz IS really good at it once he’s had a round or two.”

“Really? Fitz drinks?” 

“Oh Skye. N-nooo. Not often. Not really. But he is a Scot” as if that said it all.

Skye hummed in acknowledgement, pulling a face. She gave Simmons a good once over, up and down. “We have got to do something about your clothes. Do you see the ladies room anywhere?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girlie stuff.

“No! Skye! No! Leave me alone” 

“But Jemmmmmaaaaaaa! Come on! It’s not going to hurt to show a little skin.”

“You want me to show my brassiere! No.” 

“It’s just a little strap. What’s it going to hurt?”

“Noooo!”

“Fine. I thought this place would be a sausage factory and it turns out to be a fish market instead. I can’t dance. I can’t drink. And you! My friend! YOU won’t let me live vicariously through you.” Skye had already tried wheedling and teasing. She was already unhappy that the ratio of women to men was going to be massively out of whack and might well rule out macking with a hot stranger which she was actually cleared to do. Guilt was her last resort. It worked.

“Oh Skye. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t going to be quite the fun evening you had in mind. I just don’t understand what I can do about it.”

“Jemma” Skye put her arms around her pale, petite friend “You can be my avatar!” she said with a mischievous grin.

“What do you mean?”

“You have to do all the stuff that I can’t for me.”

“This doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“It’s a brilliant idea!” Skye rebutted. “This will be so simple. I tell you what to do. I’m making the decisions for you and you make the decisions for me Dr. Simmons. It’s fair. Egalitarian you might say.”

“It’s an opportunity for you to get me in trouble.”

“I won’t get you in trouble. I promise.” Skye put on her best trust-me smile and puppy dog eyes. “Come onnnnn. It’ll be fun. I swear. No trouble, just fun. You just have to loosen up a little.”

“Alright but I’m not going to do anything embarrassing.”

“No, of course not. That’s why you ARE taking off that cardigan. It’s embarrassing.”

Jemma gave up. She rolled her eyes and took off her sweater revealing a shiny champagne satin camisole and just a little bra strap that blended into the spaghetti straps. Jemma felt exposed and could see her own blush rising in the bathroom mirror. She and Skye had the ladies room to themselves as it was still an hour before show time and hardly anyone was seriously drinking yet.

“OK we don’t have a lot to work with but we can dress you up a little bit. You take my bangles and my earrings so you have some sparkle.”

“I’m not wearing all of those bracelets.”

“OK. Half is plenty. We’ve got to do something with your hair.”

Jemma arched a brow unhappily at Skye “My hair is fine.”

“You are at a honky-tonk in a pony-tail. That’s a no. Just no.” Skye said as she pulled the holder out of Jemma’s thick chestnut hair. “That’s better already. Looser. You have to admit you’ve got less tension on your head now. That thing was TIGHT.” Skye placated Jemma as she took a brush to her hair. She had no intention of telling her the loose hair down around her shoulders, tousled just a little, gave her a sexy bedroom look. Nope. Skye definitely wasn’t going to tell her that.

“I’ve got a little make-up in my purse….” Skye said rifling through the small container’s contents.

“Skye. No.” for some reason Jemma was beginning to feel flutters of panic at handing herself over to Skye’s ministrations.

“Jemma. Yes.” She grabbed some eyeliner and eyeshadow, Jemma’s lashes were too long and thick to need extra mascara. “Look up and don’t move.” So Jemma stood, still as a statue and patient as a saint as Skye did her best to give sexy, smoky eyes to the ever upright Dr. Simmons. 

 

“Jemma you look great. Let’s go.” And she grabbed Jemma by the hand to drag her out onto the main floor without even letting her get a good look at herself in the mirror. Skye led the way out onto a huge area that was normally a dance floor that tonight was covered in tables with names on them. Ladies of all shapes, sizes and ages were streaming in and the only thing they seemed to have in common was an overt friendliness that Skye and Jemma had never experiences. 

As they checked tables for their names. A brawny woman in a black T labeled ‘SECURITY’ came up behind Skye to life her and swing her around. “Skyyyyyeeeee!” she warbled grinning from ear to ear. 

“Michelle?!? Put me down so I can see you.” The musclebound lady dropped her and Skye spun around and came in for a bear hug. “Wow! You look incredible! It’s so good to see you! Do you have a competition coming up or what?” all the words fell in a heap from Skye’s mouth. Jemma just looked on a bit dazed at the tall, muscular blonde that looked like she should be invited into the Avenger’s initiative.

“Yeah! I’ve got a world championship in Russia in a month. How are you? It’s been a while since we’ve chatted much. You still busy trying to save the world?”

“Oh you know. Got a new job. Lots of ropes to learn. Still trying to save the world. Just a little differently is all. Getting actual paychecks now and not living in my van. So doing real good. Real good.” Skye grabbed Jemma by the arm. “This is my friend and co-worker, Jemma.” She said as introduction, “Jemma this is my friend and US National bodybuilding champion and our host this evening, Michelle”

“Hey.” Michelle produced a dazzling white smile as big as her biceps.

“Hi” squeaked Jemma.

“So Skye I’ve got you a table all set up in the very front by the stage but I can’t really hang out right now, I’ve got to work the door for a while and since we’re going to be so full of the ladies tonight I am first up to handle any shenanigans. I’ll get by and check on you when I can. Have a good time. Ed says drinks are on him so get whatever you want just let your waitress know, ok?”

“Sure. I’m DD tonight but Jemma might have something. We’re going to be pretty cheap dates I think.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Michelle’s head jerked toward another burly bouncer trying to flag her down “OK I gotta go. See you guys when I can” and she was gone with the hurricane speed.

“Wow. She’s…… BIG” Jemma commented to Skye. “She looks like she should be mothering Thor’s children.”  
Skye laughed. “She’s already got three boys and a girl. Beautiful kids, all blonde with brown eyes. Her baby is already 5’10” and she just turned 12. We should go find our table.” The stream of ladies was rapidly turning into a flood while Jemma and Skye waded through the maze of tables to one tiny high top with title ‘Master Hacker’ written in bold red marker on top. Skye smiled when she saw it but snatched it down as soon as she in Jemma had climbed on to the stools set at their tiny high topped table draped in black and not two feet from stage left.

“She really did get us up front” Skye yelled over the loud music that had just doubled in volume coming from the speaker on the other side of the stage. Jemma nodded and thought to herself that they would both have permanent hearing loss before the night was over.

“Your friend… she’s…. truly enormous. How many of her do you think it would take to best Agent May?”

Skye snorted with laughter. “I don’t know! Four. Maybe. I mean she is strong but I don’t know what kind of fighter she is. I think four Michelle’s could take 1 May. Maybe. Let’s get a drink!”

“You can’t” Jemma screeched over the blaring hip-hop.

“Shirley Temple for me. Lizard Licker for you.” Skye pointed to the drink description on the laminated menu. And she motioned for the waitress at the next table to come over.

 

*********************************************************************************


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward is a rat bastard but not shabby as a wingman.

Ward didn’t like to leave the girls downstairs, out of view. He didn’t want to head upstairs with fewer exits but as they climbed he realized there were plenty of glowing red signs and as a bonus he could watch the table and stage from the bar area with pool and darts. He relaxed minutely. The area was contained but he was far from in control there. Too many people and more crowding in all the time. Mostly women, mostly non-threatening except for the one She-Ra looking security bitch that Skye was hugging. If he had to get to her quickly, it’d be simple enough to go over the railing and slide down a support pole.  
Now was the time to concentrate on little Leo Fitz though. He reluctantly put Skye on the back burner in his head, though he couldn’t go a minute without glancing in her direction. The goal tonight was to make friendly with the team, to become a friend, a confidante. After jumping out of a plane to rescue Jemma, her trust was earned for good, he’d have to work to shake her if wanted. Given the obvious affection that Fitz has for her, Ward had thought he would have gained more brownie points with him as well. Unfortunately, that had just translated to Fitz being jealous of his heroics. So, tonight, get in good with the brilliant Leo Fitz and become his go to guy.  
The obvious way to go about it would be to play wingman. Maybe get the little guy laid. Truth be told Ward felt kind of bad for Fitz. While the Scot is gifted like Einstein, he is small, socially inept and so backwards that he can’t do anything but be slobberingly in love with his best friend even though they seem like siblings. Ward is achingly aware of an incestuous vibe within the FitzSimmons dynamic and it grosses him out a little bit. Definitely, he should get the guy laid, then Fitz could feel some more confidence in himself and quit mooning about over Simmons’ luscious butt.  
Ward would prefer a cleaner op. He would prefer mercenary work. Assassinations. Demo. Anything but getting in close with these children and spending months, hopefully not years with them. They are weak, not ready for field work, but useful in technology. They are clever, all of them are clever. None are any kind of threat to himself. Except May. She’s not weak or young or unsuspecting. She’s inscrutable at best. Dangerously unknowable at worst. He’s proud that he has managed to develop a ‘special’ relationship with her, she’s never going to give him anything though. Wooing her would have been a waste of his time and talents, if it hadn’t have been so much fun.  
Ward easily concedes to Fitz buying the first round. Concedes to throwing darts. He’s not sure how hard or easy to take it on him. Losing wouldn’t be an option. He’s a trained specialist, his aim is great but he doesn’t want to destroy him so badly that he feels bad about himself. It sucks always trying to find the fine line and walk it. Maybe he could give him brotherly advice on throwing. He’s glad Fitz is a talker so he doesn’t worry about keeping up his end of the conversation. He’s pretty sure he’ll have talked his ear off before the night is over if plied with much alcohol.  
“Hey y’all. I’m Jenna. I’ll be your waitress tonight. What kind of tail y’all chasin’ tonight? We got pretty much everything down there waiting for some man meat.”  
Fitz blushed from collar to ear tip and beyond at the friendly greeting.  
Ward looked the girl up and down slowly. She’d do. Long tan legs showing from daisy dukes to her boots, blond-highlighted hair pulled back in a ponytail, Mama’s t-shirt tied tight to her waist and sliced strategically to show skin and curves. He offered up a quick, charming smile. “Just hanging with my bud tonight, getting in a little recreation.”  
“Well what’ll you have while you’re recreatin’? It’s going to be pretty slow up here until after the show. Got some specials if you want to give’m a try.” Her pretty plastered smile not faltering as Ward checked her out thoroughly. She was more than used to men looking at her.  
“I think a couple of beers for now would be fine.”  
“Yeah, none of that American crap though. I can’t stomach the piss flavored soda you Yanks drink. Can you get me a proper pint of heavy? I’m sure a Tennant’s would be asking too much.” At the sound of Fitz’s voice her plastic smile gained 500 watts and turned into something truly spectacular. Ward, thought to himself, that this was going to be easy.  
“I sure can do that for you, Sugar. I just have to hope a Guinness is heavy enough for you. I like that accent of yours. Where are you from?”  
“Scotland. I suppose a Guinness will do, definitely for a slow night. ”  
“It must be a nice place" she let the statement linger a second longer than necessary. "I’ll be right back with your drinks,” she smiled widely at Fitz again and flossed off to the bar.  
“She likes you,” Ward smirked at Fitz.  
“Nah, she likes the accent.”  
“Same difference. You should ask her where she’s from” he said as he opened the dart cabinet.  
“Ehm, she’s not my type,” Fitz hedged as he made a show of inspecting the handful of mismatched darts Ward laid on the table.  
“Man, what’s not to like? Did you see that ass?” Ward shook his head appreciatively. “If that doesn’t do it for you, what do you need?”  
“I dunno. An IQ over 130 at a bare minimum.”  
“You’re assuming she isn’t smart because she’s a waitress. Shame on you Fitz. She might be working her way through college.” Ward grinned mostly to himself. This might be easier than he thought.  
Fitz raised a brow at Ward while fingering the fletching on a ragged blue dart. “Probably not.”  
“Wanna bet?”  
“Sure” Fitz said with a sigh as he zinged a dart to the bull’s eye.  
“Nice.” Ward said, impressed. “If she’s not in college I’ll buy the next round, your choice. If she is, then you buy, my choice”  
“Fine. Community college doesn’t count.”  
“OK but you kill what you got if she is in the sciences.”  
“Deal.” Fitz agreed easily. “But how do we find all this out?”  
Ward couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “You are a spy. You could interrogate her. You could research her. Or you could play human and ask her about herself. Trust me, she’ll answer. She likes your accent.”  
“Right” Fitz swallowed nervously. Jenna was on her way back to the table with two foamy headed masterpieces.  
“Here ya go!” Jenna fixed him with another dazzlingly bright smile as she set down the drinks at their high table.  
“Yeah. Thanks.” Leo fumbled a little. “How much do I owe you?”  
“Uncle Ed called up and said to run you two a tab. You’re covered if you don’t get too crazy.”  
“Oh. Um. Yeah. Thanks. We won’t get too… too crazy.” He screwed up his courage “You know your accent is really nice too. Where are you from?”  
“Culloden.”  
“What?” he couldn’t disguise his shock.  
“Culloden, Georgia. I’m a small town girl” she grinned again, knowing exactly what she just did to him.  
“This is a long way from Georgia, further from Scotland, of course, what are you doing here?” he paused then shyly added “if you don’t mind my asking.”  
“I’m working on my master’s at UNO. I just wait tables for Uncle Ed on the weekends. It’s great pocket money for a starving college student.”  
Ward made no pretense at hiding his snickering on the other side of the table. Jenna gave him a quizzical look, knowing she was missing something.  
“It is, I’m sure. What’s your major?”  
“Bioinformatics. Mostly it’s developing software for interpreting biological data. I tell people who don’t know, which is most everybody, it’s where computer science, engineering and biology meet to make data babies.”  
“Oh my god that’s fascinating” Fitz sputtered out genuinely impressed.  
“You think so? I’m getting time for my project on the firefly at the end of this month. If all goes well, I am getting my paper and getting out soon.”  
“The firefly? Supercomputer, you mean?”  
“Yeah, you’ve heard of it?”  
“Oh yes. I worked on some hardware for it a while back. I have someone here you’ve got to meet.”  
At this Ward interrupted. “She’s busy Fitz, let her enjoy her time off too.” He waggled his eyebrows meaningfully at Fitz but had no faith that he understood.  
“Oh. Yeah. We’re just having fun tonight.” Fitz could not have sounded more disappointed.  
“You’ve got a girlfriend down there huh?” Jenna asked.  
“Oh. Who? Me? No. My friend. Partner. Umm. Colleague really. She’s down there. Biochemist. I’m sure she’d love to talk to you.”  
“Well, to be honest, I don’t have a ton of time to talk shop. It’s slow right now but once those dancers get done I’m going to get flooded by every local yokel within 50 miles. I turn the Southern up real high for these cowboys. They like it a lot. I’ll be back around to check on you on a little bit, Sweetie.” She gave Fitz a wink and a smile, ignored Ward completely, and hustled over to a nearby table of bearded camouflaged twenty-somethings.  
Fitz’s eyes followed her closely. “Wow, that IS nice.”  
“What? Her IQ?” Ward teased.  
“Yeah and her arse.” Fitz whistled softly to himself. “So what’s your game?”  
“Uh-uh kill what you got. You got out of buying but you’re going to have to drink and I get to pick the next round. I’m thinking a nice American whiskey.”  
“There’s no such thing” countered Fitz. He picked up his beer, eyeing Ward seriously. “This is not a chugging beer” he said regretfully and then swallowed it down like a marathoner would a Dixie cup of water. Ward’s eyes widened in surprise. “Now, what’s your game?”  
“Uh, cricket.”  
“20 to 10?”  
“Sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am happily taking suggestions for stuff to happen. So far in my head their will be pool, darts, dancing, cowboys, strippers, body shots and general good times.


End file.
